I've been thinking about this a lot lately. In my experience, jws don't know how to handle joy but they're very willing to get pumped up when there is a crisis. The whole religion centres around saving people from an impending destruction. It's very nature is crisis-based.
I think about how uncomfortable it was as a jw to discuss anything good happening in my life, feeling that that would reflect that I was somehow happy in this life and not looking forward to the "real life" in paradise. But it was so acceptable to talk about whatever my latest life crisis was because that reminded everyone how much we need "the new system" and how evil satan is.
And I think too about how my parents are interacting with me since I DA'd. They're quick to tell me to call them "if I need anything". In other words, if I'm in dire need, in crisis. Yet they don't want to be part of the happy, joyous moments in my life right now.
When I left my marriage and was disfellowshipped a few years back, my parents took me in. I was quite ill at the time, going through Post Traumatic Stress as a result of the jc. They cared for me and felt justified in doing so, telling the elders that I was ill and it was their responsibility to take care of me. I wondered if I hadn't been ill, if they'd have taken me in. What if I'd been perfectly well and happy, would they have taken me in?
So, when I visited my folks to tell them I was DAing, I said, "I hope you'll still love me because I refuse to get sick just to have your affection." My mother was in tears. She told me she loved me unconditionally. I have yet to see that fully in action. It still feels very much as it did..."Unless there's a crisis in your life that you need us to save you from, there's nothing really to say."
I think about how this crisis-oriented mind-set slowly kills you. When your body is constantly in that high-alert mode, just waiting for the next crisis to arise...not just waiting, but seeking it out, your fight/flight response is on all the time. Stress chemicals flood your body and overtax its defense systems. I think of the high levels of depression, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, cancer, heart ailments and other "stress-related" illness in the org. It's sad to me that, in the end, these people are doing it to themselves.
There is so little true joy in the life of a jw. I've known few jws that even know what to do with the emotion of joy. Being so used to crisis and stress, wt or self-imposed, they don't know where to put joy if it comes along. I still have trouble with this. It's as if there is no file in my brain for joy. It's taking some very conscious repatterning to allow myself to experience joy and feel good about that.
Anyhow, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this? Do jws thrive on crisis?
tall penguin
tall penguin
JoinedPosts by tall penguin
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10
Do jws thrive on crisis?
by tall penguin ini've been thinking about this a lot lately.
in my experience, jws don't know how to handle joy but they're very willing to get pumped up when there is a crisis.
the whole religion centres around saving people from an impending destruction.
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tall penguin
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Lies, Damn Lies, and "Experiences"
by AlmostAtheist inonce, discussing the recently passed circuit assembly.
he had interviewed a young pioneer that was able to pioneer without a car.
she "arranged her schedule" (translation: bummed rides well in advance) to make sure she had a way to and from the hall.
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tall penguin
Welcome to the board 2112. When you're ready, start a new thread and introduce yourself. Glad to have you here.
"It was said during a talk that "We have no broken homes in our organization". When I heard that I blurted out "What a bunch of crap!" Good for you! That's one assembly I would've liked to have been at.
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Excerpt from Awake!, January 2006
by daniel-p inlast night i was reading the new awake!
magazine (no, i'm not a glutton for punishment), in bed with my wife sleeping beside me.
on page 5, i read: "of course, some people see no good news on the horizon.
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tall penguin
Hey daniel-p,
Any chance of you posting a scan of the article on cutting in a separate thread? It's been a topic for discussion on many occasions here and I think it would be good to see something on the subject from the wts.
Thanks,
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37
Lies, Damn Lies, and "Experiences"
by AlmostAtheist inonce, discussing the recently passed circuit assembly.
he had interviewed a young pioneer that was able to pioneer without a car.
she "arranged her schedule" (translation: bummed rides well in advance) to make sure she had a way to and from the hall.
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tall penguin
What really saddens me about all of this is how discouraging these experiences are for the average dub to hear. It's just another reminder of how they don't measure up. "If sister single mother with 4 kids can pioneer why can't I?" I remember how often I and other sisters in the congregation would be in tears and enter a depression for a couple of days after every assembly, feeling unworthy and inadequate. Realizing that no matter how hard we tried what we had to offer was never good enough.
And all those life experiences in the magazines too. I couldn't read them. They just set the bar so high. I think the one I and everyone else hated the most was that of Lauren Nisbett, that sister who "stayed faithful" while in the iron lung for many years. I mean, really, how hard would it be stay faithful while in an iron lung? You'd get all these wonderful, encouraging visits from brothers and sisters. You wouldn't have to deal with the bs that goes on at every meeting; not to mention dealing with the real world everyday. And everyone would revere anything you could possibly do to serve jehovah.
Experiences like these, true or not, were unrealistic, unreasonable and unattainable. I knew very few jws who ever felt encouraged by them. So sad.
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Monthly issue of Awake increases circulation
by truthseeker inif you have the december 22, 2005 awake!
you will notice that the circulation is 22,842,000.. i received the january monthly issue of the awake!
yesterday, and noticed that the circulation jumped to 32,412,000. .
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tall penguin
I recall many people I met in the ministry would only read the Awake because it was less preachy. Now that they're only printing one a month and they've changed the format, their numbers will be affected. I'm sure circulation will decrease.
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tall penguin
""We hardly ever have a group over 150 or 200 people," Lafton said. "When it gets to be more than that, people start losing personal attention. We like to stay close together and not make it too big.""
Read..."It's hard to keep tabs on everyone's personal business when the congregation gets too big."
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tall penguin
Beautiful Es! And congratulations. You looked lovely. And what a beautiful idea having your son walk you down the aisle, or in this case, down the hill. :)
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A Letter That Touched Her Heart, from the Branch Office, to the CO's. Wife.
by Blueblades infrom the watchtower january 1, 2006. a letter that touched her heart.. one traveling overseer remembers well one occasion when he and his wife returned to their accommodations after a very chilly winter day in the ministry.
he says: "my wife was cold and discouraged, and she told me that she felt she couldn't continue.
'how much better', she said,'it would be to serve in the full-time ministry with a congregation, stay in one place, and conduct our own bible studies.
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tall penguin
I think too about the CO's wives who feel downtrodden right now and would like to quit. And how once they read this experience, they'll feel kicked while they're down, like even if they wanted to quit they can't because they'll now be judged for it. I remember how these kind of experiences made me feel pressured, not built up. They set up impossible standards; standards which others are quick to judge by.
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Greetings
by Justino00 inhello, it is a pleasure to be here and read such interesting posts.
i have had experience with jehovah's witnesses and their current and future events interest me.
so far i like what i see here, very informative.
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tall penguin
Welcome. Great to have you here.
I was a jw for 25 years and disassociated this past August. So, I'm a newbie too. Enjoy your stay and post lots.
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We're all hypocrites!
by free2beme ini firmly believe that if you talk to someone long enough and know someone long enough, you will learn they are a hypocrite.
i don't think anyone can remain on one theme in their life forever and stick with it, as life is just to much about change to allow this and the human experience is about learning and changing.
when i see people quote others and yell the inevitable "hypocrite" comment in their direction.
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tall penguin
"Emperor penguins grow to over a metre, which is pretty tall as far as birds go."
Thanks for this tidbit Jeffro. I'm almost 6 feet tall which makes me the tallest penguin I know. ;)
The penguin is also a contradiction in being a flightless bird. But as a friend once said to me, "penguins fly in liquid sky," so I don't let it get me down. :)
tp